THE DANGERS OF CRUISE CONTROL WHEN ON AUTOPILOT

guest column by Mike Watt
Thrasher - September 1994

You never really think about it until it's too late. That's what those devices are for, right? Machines to allow you to concentrate on "more important" things. Machines to "relieve" you of the tedium of "reality." Cruise control and autopilot: Two methods of abstracting yourself right out of existence. Well-schooled in this field of expertise, I thought I'd share the lessons I've learned.

It's a subtle descent into this hellride. What starts as a way of getting things done ends up as an end to itself: A wack-engine twisting and grinding on its own interia. You wake up to find scaffolding and beams bolted to you. Tubes and hinges attach you to unfathomable connections. The life you lead becomes an extension of a great construction project you have no knowledge of, some mechanical "other" side of you, like the part that beats your heart, not the part that knows why. Habit would be too good a word for it. You're on an unknown mission with the secret plans buried in the stratosphere.

The basic intentions are good. The shortest distance between two points is the kicked-back route, right? The path of least resistance, the greased rail, the cake walk or the gravy train. Find a good mount and ride it out of Dodge. Once you got "there," life would become "real." With some way to get through the tedium of having to do the footwork, the things that you find "interesting" could get your full, undivided attention.

What then is actually "interesting" to the dude on autopilot? Maybe such cruise control activities as television or classic rock radio can serve as obvious examples. Maybe even playing lotto or professional spectating. How about rock and roll tour bus riding? There's Game Boy, life toy and ultimate joy. Call 1-900-YOR-NEXT and get the word. Have Domino's "deliver" it!

Cruise control as a lifestyle, think of it: Waking up everyday on autopilot. Course set, time of arrival plotted, the only real dilemma might be how to "kill" the time involved in executing the instructions. "Killing time" is such a great expression: Mind thoroughly in the "if," "maybe," "would've," "could've" and "should've" realm of "higher" thinking. Body busy with the dreary business of actually "living." Body and mind divorced like art and commerce, like husband and wife. The cruel compromise made easy by goose-stepping down the well-worn path, sleepwalking through the idiot parade. Doing what's been done to hide all the choices that might challenge you. Settling for where you've settled. Kissing the feet of gravity for having a reason to fall. But down is still down and can an autopilot on cruise control tell that important difference? The autopilot want to "maintain." THe cruise control wants to "take it easy." Are these just "half-asses" in the meantime, a "jig-rig" for now? I know for sure that "now" is really "now" more than ever. Trust me on this one.

I've found that reality has this checks and balances thing. You push against the wall and it pushes back. You make the wrong move on the skateboard and you fall down. Game is not over. Game is now changed and you have to deal. Life returns to the dynamic that gave you birth: That reality of your first breath. Not the question of why you took it, but what will you do to take another? You might not have to think about it. Not yet. The karma account builds, you're either making a deposit or a withdrawl. Can you see the lure of autopilot?

Am I advocating a panic from order to chaos? Isn't chaos a form of order itself? Is it a concept we use to describe a situation that is too complicated to understand? Turning off the cruise control will not create a panic. I think to be truly conscious, you have to be somewhat chaotic trying to avoid a panic. To reflect this world of change, you would have to change constantly. Wouldn't this keep you "live" enough? A car gets driven. Am I driven? What drives me? You drive towards goals, but who really does the driving? Should I hire a driver? Does he do his driving for him or does he wait to get home? How does he get home? Does he drive?

I like the idea of the skateboard. There is no room for an autopilot there. There'd be no sense in skating if there was one. It's the ride itself that is important, not the avoidance of experiencing that ride. Like I said, if you calculate a wrong move, you fall down as a consequence and learn from your actions. If you stay up, you consider yourself lucky or maybe even legitimately skilled! The debate is not with the actual world but with the ideas in your head. There is no "last judgement" but rather a process of living. No "life as rehearsal."

This is the reason I pulled the plug on fIREHOSE. Time to get in the ring and wrestle this "life as now" thing as if my life depended on it, because, you know, it does.